SELF-CARE INCLUDES SELF-DEFENSE: A Perspective on the Argument for Women’s Self-Defense

 

I’d like to take a little time to share some thoughts and feelings heavy on my soul today – some that I’ve possessed since late 1999, some I’ve had since February of 2024; and some I’m dealing with lately.

 They say “never meet your heroes..” But, in this case, I did. I spent hours on the phone with him, I finally met him after three years of phone calls. Even before I was ever in the same room with him, he had become family to me. I grew up without a father, and once had a grandfather figure who bailed when I was about 8 years old. In the last bit of my teenage years, Mr. Mills became a surrogate grandfather to me in many ways, and very-unfortunately, I didn’t realize that until February 18^th, 2024.

 

(To whomever created the idea of “never meet your heroes…”, GO find new heroes; because clearly, you’ve tragically missed out!!)

 

The sad and deeply-unfortunate fact about life, is that it too-often requires *death* for us to realize what’s important, what’s vital - to realize all the things we should have freely said and shared. Like so many others, I can claim that Mr. Mills meant to much to me – a testament of his selfless spirit to build soundly up those around him. He had a heart so huge, it could love all of us who sought him out and then some.

 

“There’s no one in town I know,

You gave us someplace to go;

I never said ‘thank you’ for that,

thought I might get one more chance..”

 

In typing this, I cannot help but keep thinking of something Kathy Owen (MA) said at his funeral: “How lucky we are to have had something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

 

To Mr. Mills – every bit of martial arts that I do (and so much of life and living as well), has YOU in it, has you a part of it. A lesson, a thought, a quote, a remembrance.. And a pledge, to work and strive to continue your example – to always be true to myself, to ‘have faith and believe in myself, to have courage, to create and always be humble.’ To never stop, to ‘make it memorable, make it explosive.’

 

I love you, sir. I have for a long time, and I always will.

 

I miss you, and I miss the world that still has you in it.

 

Until we meet again…