SELF-CARE INCLUDES SELF-DEFENSE: A Perspective on the Argument for Women’s Self-Defense

Man’s inhumanity to man – a terrible and ancient affliction upon the world that persists, no matter how enlightened we may consider ourselves to be. And man’s inhumanity towards women? Even more perverse in it’s choice of evils.

A bit of flair towards the dramatic, I’ll admit, but still (and sadly) true. And this world has only gotten uglier. Don’t believe me?

 *statistics nerd powers, ACTIVATE*

The U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation cited 1,762,840 female victims of violent crime in the United States in 2022, which is approximately 484,450 (!) more than reported the previous year – and bear in mind, these are only crimes REPORTED…that is a 37.89% increase, in just one year!

(source: https://www.statista.com/statistics/423245/us-violent-crime-victims-by-gender/)

In 2022 in the United States alone, 442,754 women were raped or sexually assaulted.

(source: https://www.statista.com/statistics/251923/usa-reported-forcible-rape-cases-by-gender/)

I could provide other supportive statistics and sources, but I think these properly paint the picture; and the bulk of this article isn’t to talk about crime statistics, but rather discussing some barriers standing in the way of women taking steps to better protect themselves.

Before I dive into a few of these barriers, I must preface with this statement:

Advocating for women’s self-defense, is in no way putting blame or fault on the victim. EVER. Rape and assault are the sole choice of the perpetrator, not the victim or would-be victim.

Why aren’t more women training for self-defense, why aren’t more women advocating for it? I will elaborate on some of the reasons I have personally heard and/or observed on this topic.

 

 #1           “I don’t have time/that’s not my thing.”

This is a HUGE one, and it stands as a barrier to more than self-defense; it also gets in the way of our physical health, our mental health, our self-care and our relationships. Like anything else, it’s something you have to give priority to and MAKE time for.

 

#2           “I hate violence.”

Most people genuinely do (even those that carry themselves like over-confident roosters with their chests puffed out); but like my Momma would sometimes say, “one has nothing to do with the other.” From a psychological perspective, I believe this barrier (or excuse) comes from a fear of stepping out of one’s own comfort zone, as any effective self-defense training requires that (and if it’s comfortable, it isn’t effective).

Another reason could be what I term ‘hopeful denial’ – it’s hoping for the best and largely-ignoring the worst (rather than preparing for it); it’s the old ‘that will never happen to me’ that we carry from our reckless childhood notions.

But it DOES happen – it happened 1,762,840 times in this country in 2022.

 

#3           “I’ll just shoot them.”

This is one of my personal favorites (and I’ve heard it from WAY more men than women); and while yes, this DOES indicate a strong step towards protecting one’s self, the mindset is horribly-fallible and somewhat situationally-ignorant. WHAT IF…..you’re in a building that restricts the carrying of a firearm? You’re at work and the weapon is in your car? You’re caught by surprise and cannot reach it, or don’t have the opportunity to draw it before the attack is committed against you? If you’re in the shower?

Cold truth: you won’t always have your weapon, you won’t always be able to secure your weapon and employ it. And a firearm is but one tool in a toolbox that requires a more well-rounded arsenal.

 

#4           “I couldn’t do that.”

Why? Honestly, why couldn’t YOU prepare yourself?

Lack of knowledge, or where to start? Finding these resources is only a Google search and some reading away, and certainly within your grasp.

Do you think yourself physically-incapable? Small? Lacking strength? Out of shape? Again, Momma would say ‘one has nothing to do with the other.’ The foundation of self-defense and self-protection is comprised of three things: awareness, technique and a willing viciousness to stay safe.

While we’re on this point, let me repeat that last part: a WILLING VICIOUSNESS to stay safe. It’s often said that the most dangerous creature in the world is a Mama Bear, and as I personally believe that women are indeed the stronger sex, they are in possession of a natural and brutal instinct that has been buried by society… it’s time to dig that back out!

And finally….

 

#5           “Why should I have to train self-defense? Why not teach men to not be rapists                                            and predators?”

As a self-defense teacher and avid proponent of individual empowerment, it genuinely both pains and frightens me to see the emergence of the narrative that, instead of teaching women self-defense, we should teach men to not be predators; in effect, that narrative also implies that an individual is not responsible for her own safety – and that creates a victim mentality that disguises itself as empowerment.

Yes, we absolutely SHOULD hold our men up to the very best of moral standards, including being men of honor and compassion rather than predators! However, I believe that we already do that (and I’ll admit that there is always room for improvement on how we do this); but, there isn’t a predator or rapist alive that doesn’t know the wrongdoing in their actions. They know full-well that assault is immoral, illegal, wrong and a crime.

Now, we could get into the discussion of imposing much harsher penalties for those guilty of committing such acts, but the act has still already been committed, the damage done. Trauma, destruction and so many other wounds and scars that’ll run deeper than bone.

WOMEN DESERVE BETTER. PEOPLE DESERVE BETTER.

And THAT is why many of us advocate for women’s self-defense, self-protection, self-empowerment and self-fortification. Isn’t that self-care?

 

 

 

(about the author: Jason Creel is a self-defense/martial arts instructor out of Semmes, Alabama and is an advocate for inclusive and trauma-informed training environments within the martial arts community)